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Tatyana and I are no longer a couple, and we couldn't be
happier with our relationship.
Over the last few days we have had some of the most intense
and open conversations of our entire relationship and, through our honesty,
openness and prayer together, we feel that the next step in our relationship is
to end our courtship.
As Christians we knew when we began dating that the purpose
for dating was to seek out marriage. The world today tells us to date for
dating sake and to try on every shoe because maybe today I like this shoe but
tomorrow I like this instead. The Bible tells us different. God calls us to
treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ (1 Timothy 5:1-2), for that
is what we are, sons and daughters of the living God, brothers and sisters in
Christ. We are called to seek out the best for the other spiritually, while
putting aside what the rest of the world says we should do, or even what our
emotions tell us to do. (Jer 17:9)
We have realized over the last few days that we were doing
what we thought we should be doing instead of God's true will for our lives. We
were so determined that this was the next step because this is the way the
world works; dating, engagement, marriage, those are the proper steps. We
missed how God works, both of us blinded in different ways. I was blinded
through the love I had of a relationship beyond just friendship with another,
Tatyana through the dreams of things she had always wanted and was now being
offered. Neither of us listening to God and seeking out what He wanted for our
relationship.
We are shown by the world that this is to be harsh, painful,
full of lies, deceit, rumors, and selfishness. But what we discovered is that
when we put God in the center of our relationship and take away the 'me' focus,
it becomes easy. Our pride is put aside and our hearts are at rest as we see
how God wants to work through us. We could have easily slipped into that
worldly nature, things that we are told on a daily basis we should do, but through the love of
Christ we knew in our spirit that to put those things first is to destroy, not
build, and that we should not follow the world, but our father. (Exodus 23:2)
After days of talking and praying, God removed the masks we
had put on our relationship. And we knew, even before we thought we should
know, what we had to do. The next step. God's true will for our lives.
Sunday night we released each other through prayer, praying
God's will into each other's lives and a strengthening of our relationship as
friends as we ended our relationship as a couple. Knowing in our spirit that
this was the right decision even though the world tells us not to accept it.
But this decision is proof that God works all things in our lives for good if
we truly follow him. (Rom 8:28)
We know that our friends and family invested a lot in this
relationship, and we thank you for all of the prayers and support you gave us,
because the relationship was a success.
"Instead of dating the other person for their physical
appearance or their suave charms, you are dating them to establish a solid
relationship and decide whether or not marriage is God’s will for you." -
Joshua Harris, author of 'I kissed dating Goodbye' and 'Boy Meets Girl'
There is no reason to grieve for us, we are not grieving
ourselves! For if two people discover that marriage is not God's will it should
be as much of a celebration as if they discover it is and marry. What is
important, and what so much of the world tells us otherwise, is God's
will! We have discovered exactly what God wants for us right now, and that
makes this a joyous occasion.
-matt and tatyana
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